hairlessdave

DRINK! Drink like you've never drunk before!

Fri, 18 May 2007 03:03:28 GMT

Boone's Farm, dear sweet candy booze, why must you give me heartburn when I love you so. And jim, how come you never sit still in the morning while i have to work... you bastard.

Here's to alcohol!!! wooooweeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:42:50 GMT

Why do i always get so nervous before i travel?

So I guess this is my 15 minutes of fame....

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 18:49:47 GMT

And it's pretty shitty, I think.

The story

Anyway, here's the relevant part.

'Conway's comments drew some skeptical questions from Marines at the gathering. They quizzed him about the lack of armor for heavy equipment vehicles, whether Marines would be able to stay home longer before returning to Iraq, and the reality of continued mortar fire even at this heavily guarded base.

"Sir, you say things are getting better, but we're still having mortars land in our living quarters," one lance corporal told Conway.

The general replied that the camp is much safer than when it opened, but added that even with guards posted around the perimeter, insurgents still find that firing mortars and fleeing is an easy task.

Referring to the perimeter guards, Conway drew cheers by telling the questioning corporal that "those grunts are out there doing the best they can, son…. They would like some help if you would like to help them."'

Yeah, that Lance Corporal? Me... Now, that's not exactly what I actually said, and definately no where near what I was trying to say, but yeah, me, front page of the LA Times...

Who'd have thought, huh?

What's more, I'm fairly convinced that there's going to be trouble for me as a result of this, so I'll let you know what comes down the pipe...

I took out the trash today...

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:28:00 GMT

And I'm on fire.

fuck that bullshit.

every living being on this earth is but short seconds away from their own mortality

when i die, does the stuff that makes me me get snuffed out like a candle?

yossarian once said that they were after him, that they wanted to kill him,

everyone told him he was insane, they weren't trying to kill him

then why are they shooting at me?

why the FUCK are they shooting at ME?

why is it that in a day and age where we can bring people back from the edge of death, breath life into lifeless bodies, that we fucking have to?

we have technology, we have consumerism, we have television and advertisement

we have economy and history and social sciences

we study the past so that we may learn from it, we study the present so that we may grow from it

WHERE IS THE FUCKING GROWTH NOW?

how am I any better then the apes I descended from?

because I read and write? because I can kill someone without ever seeing their face? because I have religions and philosophies to study?

no. those are meerly reasons to be killed.

I am knowldgeable, therefore, those less knowledgable may become envious,

and in their envy, will desire not to be come level with me, as idealism might suggest, but instead to drag me down among them

fuck that...

at least as an ape, all I would have to worry about would be my known predators, and where my next meal would come from

not about indescriminate explosions sent my direction by faceless enemies who only hate me because they hate my country

a country that hates me, that thinks i am just another statistic

how many of you have contemplated your own death?

not the thoughts of bringing it about sooner then needs be, but just the idea that who you are could cease at a moments notice.

when you think about it, if i die tomorrow, my family will cry, but they will pick up and keep going

whoever i might someday have chosen to be with will find someone else

what changes i might have made will be made by someone else

sooner or later

my existence will be rendered to nothing

but fuck that

i refuse to be nothing...

the end is near

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 21:23:48 GMT

so yeah, the good ole mc is putting a stop to all blogging done while in iraq. basically some bad shit went down, and now if you are caught maintaining any type of blog or myspace type thing you're fucked...

Yeah, the official order hasn't come out yet, but it's on it's way, I can check this for maybe a day or two, after that I'll ahve to wait till im back in the states...

If you find yourself lost without me, my email address is dave.irwin.iii@gmail.com I would love to hear from any of you about anything, even an oddly shaped booger, i don't care, just keep in touch please!

Till next time

dave

I am Dave's unutterable rage.

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 09:15:52 GMT

I was trained in A-School as a 2631, Electronic intelligence intercept operator/analyst. That job is useless. There is no need for it, and there will likely continue to be no need for it. So, in an effort to be useful, I advertised my systems administration skill. Now with the only 2 other fully trained sysadmin either leaving radio bn or getting out when I get back, I *WILL*, whether I like it or not, be the sysadmin chief until I eas. I've come to terms with this. I am actually happy to be useful. But there is one thing that I want to point out.

I AM NOT A SYSADMIN.

I did not go to A-school for systems administration, nor have I recieved any formal training in the field. Everything I know is because of the gift I have for figuring thigs out. The fact that I do know all the things I know definately qualifies under the "Above and beyond hte call of duty," bullshit line. It's true. I don't care to get awards for it, I don't want a pat on the back, I just want to be left the fuck alone to do the job that I am good at. The jobskills that I have and am offering to the Marine Corps for no additional charge.

But no, that's not good enough. When everything is working, and I'm all caught up with everything that needs to be done, I'm apparently expected to learn the jobs of the sorry fucks around me.

It's not good enough that I am a highly skilled, incredibly efficient worker, but now I need to learn to do other peoples jobs because....

Because they said so. We have a bunch of trained monkeys that can operate radios, and anotehr set which can also run our satellite uplink. They have proven to not have the ability to learn sysadmin, and if they do have the ability, they do not have the desire. But it's ok for them to not know my job because I do so well at it.

FINE. YOU WANT ME TO LEARN TO BE A RADIO OP? OK.

You want me to know how to make a satelite network work? Ok.

Give me a fucking SOP, all the gear I need, and a month and I'll be able to out perform any ofthe other bastards out here. I promise you this.

You want me to pt and get in shape so i can be promoted? Fine. I run every night and do pullups like it's eating candy.

I'll do everything they fucking want. Then maybe I can tell them to shove it.

(Did they forget I have bullets?)

Still alive still alive

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 19:32:10 GMT

I miss you guys, write me stuff.... I'm on 18 hour swings now, it's pretty cool. I discovered a creative side of myself, animated gif image signatures for forums. it's fun, but time consuming... not that I'm short on time here, so i guess it works.

shit

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 22:17:18 GMT

I don't want to be me anymore

I want to hurt someone, mentally, emotionally, physically, I don't care

I hate being nice

I want to break things

I want to abuse my power

I want to commit a crime

I want to be someone who isn't kind

I don't want to care about others

I don't want to worry about the consequences of my actions

I want to be everything that a good man might despise

but I can't be any of that, and I'm pissed

just so you know

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 22:15:42 GMT

things have slowed down greatly, I watched the first half of season one of smallville during my shift today, and the first season of american dad, so yeah, love my job right now. aside from a certain captain who needs to be flogged... I have never met someone who was just as much of a total asshole before... I can't even begin to explain, but I'll give you a little scenario.

In walks capt b "I need you to fix my printer, I'm going to be gone for a little while, so if you can just go in there and unlock my computer and take care of it, that would be great." (he sounds like that asshole from office space, no joke)

I respond "Sir, I can't work on your machine while it's locked, i need you to go back and unlock it so i can fix everything."

"Well, the you can just do it as soon as I get back."

"Sure thing sir, just let me know."

45mins later

"Ok, I'm back now, come fix my printer for me. Oh, and don't get any ideas, these aren't for you, they're for the watchfloor." He says this holding 2 boxes of cinnibon, fresh enough that they've filled the room with their deliscious scent, drawing everyone's attention.

needless to say, I don't do shit for him anymore.

fun-my-fun

ok...

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:19:43 GMT

So maybe i was exagerating, i don't actually mind the runnign and junk, it's not so bad as long as you don't let it be about them. yeah, maybe it's cooler if you don't care about what you look like, maybe it's the way to happier living, but then why shouldn't I try to get in shape? I mean, if nothing else, when I get back, if I get around to actually trying to meet someone worth spending the rest of my life with, maybe it wouldn't be bad to at least look good, that boyish charm thing is a load of crap, I'm about as charming as a hang-nail, and my wit never seems to come to my aid when I need it, so i have to rule that one out.

I dunno, I dunno, it just isn't nearly as bad as when they force you to do it.

maybe i should try a dose of stop being lazy, stop pretending to be totally apathetic, get off your ass and do something about it. (sblsptbtagoyaadsai) (pronounced sibl-spit-btago-yeah-de-sigh)

yay acronyms

Iraq is awesome ?!?

And, I'd never belive it if i hadn't been there myself...

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:44:12 GMT

i went running today... solo.... by choice.....

what's more, i even did pullups, crunches, and pushups......

and to top it all off, i made a excel spread sheet to track my daily... workouts... (I just threw up a little in my mouth)

where the fuck did this sudden wave of self conciousness come from? I mean, yeah, i've never been fond of my belly, but i've also never done the slightest thing on my own to fix it...

so why, all of a sudden, do i look down at myself and think, "man, i'm kinda disgusting"

I never think that about other people, i don't look at fatass mcbigboned and think, "my god! he should lose some weight!"

that's not me, I figure if people are larger then other people, that's their choice to be that way, and i'm cool with that....

why can't I be cool with me?

Good night faggots

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 20:44:48 GMT

you all need to post more so i can live vicariously

So you remember that really cool thing I mentioned?

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 21:58:39 GMT

Well, here's a tiny explanation.

Basically it's a webpage that presents a series of forms that the user can fill out, and then takes that information and emails it all to myself, and all the other system administrators I work with, and also uploads it into a mySQL database. That database can be referenced in the form of a page containing all the tickets submitted in the past 24 hours, thus negating the need for me to keep a log of what I'm doing so that I can prove to my CO that I'm not just jacking off all day.

the problem is, as of right now I have no set system for marking tickets as completed, and no way to let users know that I am currently working on their problem, so it looks like i'll be adding to it. I'm actually having a lot of fun with this. Maybe I am meant to work on computers for a living...

One of the chow halls out here was nearly hit by a mortar today, (I was at chow at the time, just at a different chow hall) and people came flying out of their chairs when their radio's started buzzing, so i'm pretty confident they caught the fucker, i want his gene's out of hte gene pool, he can't even aim!

anyway, how's life in the ole' u s of a?

5 bucks

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 19:42:59 GMT

to whoever can guess the perfect ending to 36 hours of hard, but cool, work.

36 hours

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 19:11:59 GMT

of amazing geek-tastic ness

I wrote this nifty tool thing in php and mysql and it's super a+ cool...

Now I'm gonna sleep for a day

love ya

What color is your hair?

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:03:22 GMT

Mine is normally blonde... not that it matters cause I have to cut it all off for the sake of an outdated tradition...

but I guess that is ok, cause if it wasn't shaven, I'd have probebly pulled it out in chunks today. I was busy, for about 15.5 hours straight, fixing accounts, making accounts, disabling accounts, fixing email, connecting email accounts... etc etc etc

it was fun!... really, I actually enjoyed being so busy that right now i'm gonna hit send and passou.......................

malignant tumors

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 23:27:34 GMT

I had a really really really really stupendously bad headache today, worst one i've had in about 6 months. about 3 hours in, i realized, if it was a malignant brain tumor, if I survived the surgery, more or less unscathed, i would be out of the marnies... and then i smiled... is that normal?

OK... ok

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 21:58:27 GMT

So I guess I have to redeem myself after my last post... But GIZOOGLE is soo great! I spent about 45 mins yesterday reading slashdot in "jive" It's so rediculous that you just can't look away... Does that make me weak, or just simple minded? I dunno, all I know is I wonder if you can shizzlize wiki-pedia >:P

Anyway, I'm listening to Oingo-Boingo, and The Beatles, and it's taking me to my happy place... The place where I can bitch and some poor sucker is always there to agree with me... Livejournal! hooray!

So here's the gripe:

I'm sitting at work... In the desert... A COMBAT zone... And the Chris, of all fucking people... Tells me... THAT HE BETTER NOT SEE ME TOMORROW WITHOUT A HAIRCUT....

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?!?

I mean, I know he has his little boner for the marnie's but... BUT... When it comes down to petty shit like that, it bothers me. I just got done with a 14.5 hour day... Not that I'm complaining about the hours, cause I honestly don't mind that, as long as when there is work being done, i'm left alone, and when there isn't work to be done, I'm left alone. Generally the case. But, I work from noon to midnight, and if I'm busy enough that I miss chow cause I'm too busy to realize what time it is, I think I'm excused from bullshit like going ot get a haircut in my now 9.5 hours of off-time... I mean, I've gone on 2 hours of sleep in the past... but I was never even semi functional the next day... and right now, I cannot afford to be less then 120% functional, no shit. *I* do know how to do my job, feigned ignorance aside, I'm pretty fucking good at it, but I need sleep in order to be worth a damn.

so what am I gonna do? I'm gonna wake up in 6 hours and get a fucking haircut..................fuck

ta da

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 10:40:48 GMT

Tranzliate this Shiznit to Jive!

Click the Spinn'n Rim Beotch!

www.myYearbook.com -- Created by 2 high school students to kick myspace's ass</font>

Add the Tranzizzle-ata' to Your Site!

Just kidding, it doesn't want to work on live journal... /sad

My name is Dave Irwin

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 10:15:27 GMT

Not Lance Corporal Irwin, David A. I don't give a flying fuck whether or not you retain your humanity, *I* am still a human being, with a fucking NAME. So all you fucks who think that it's innappropriate to answer the question, "What is your name?" With "Dave Irwin, Staff Sergeant." Can go fornicate yourselves with a railroad spike.

When all else fails

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 22:04:11 GMT

When it gets so bad I can't stand it anymore. when I just want to go outside, and shoot someone... I CAN!! Yay for guns and bullets!

High hilarity

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 14:51:58 GMT

If you ever want ot see something funny, open a door just before someone knocks on it. The closer to impact you catch them, the better. Case: A few moments ago, I was leaving my office to take a piss, a building which you have to enter a combination into the front door to open it, and as I opened the door, a full-bird Colonel is standing there, now mouth wide open, getting ready to knock on the door. He stands there for a moment, unsure what to do, adn it took everything I had to say simply, "You coming in, Sir?" Rather then just buting up right there.

That got me thinking, so often, in the military, and the rest of the world as well, I'm sure, people in positions of power tend to be subconsiously elevated by those below them, in my case, that Colonel normally doesn't seem to be a real person. BUT IT'S NOT TRUE!

He can be totaly perplexed by simple situations just like anybody else. A high ranking officer can trip coming down the stairs, and just like anybody else, they look up to see if anyone noticed. A Master Sergeant whispered to me when I asked him what he was thinking of, because he, for some reason, thought that if he spoke too loudly, the 20 questions game would hear him.

They are sad, sorry, pathetic human beings just like the rest of us, that makes me happy : D

Mind-reading gizmos?

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 20:58:16 GMT

Yeah, really, but around here the average mind, when read, makes Seuss look like a calculus textbook. In anycase, I picked up the new... or new-ish... 20Q toy. It actually plays 20 Questions with you, you think of something, and by question 20, if you are honest, had about a 70% sucess rate at telling me what I was thinking of, or something close enough to be accepted, think types of objects, not rifle, but gun, etc.

It's not so hot with minerals, I was thinking of hematite, it said quartz, and then fool's gold, but still, shiny, metallic, close enough.

Let's just say this particular bit of human ingenuity has opened up a new train of thought for me, something along hte lines of automating life for all the morons out there. "I'm thinking of something that I need to do right now computer" 20 Q's later, "Hey moron, you need to wipe yourself." and so on.

On to other creepy things. They have an "Easy" button. Homeless, you remember the "Easy" button don't you? The one that I stole the batteries from in Arizona? The one that I swore someday to destroy? Yeah... THAT "Easy" button. And it's here, mocking me, like that Audioslave CD that refused to stay thrown out my car window... I may end up putting a bullet in something before I leave this place, destination undertermined...

country bob's steak, hamburger, and everything sauce is delicious.

Close curtain.

Been a while...

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 21:06:31 GMT

But now I'm in the desert, and I have fucking internet in my room... wow... Oh! I am paying through the nose for it, but I have internet in the middle of a hostile country... Gotta have your priorities eh?

Anyway, things here are pretty, well, underwhelming, I guess would be the best way to describe it. Last year there were at least mortar attacks fairly frequently where I was at... Here, in Fallujah, nothing, not a damn thing since I got here a week ago. I mean, are they even trying anymore?

Well, I hope all you folks out there are well, I'll be on here more and more frequently now I imagine, so check me out from time to time.

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 03:23:51 GMT

sometimes i sleep with my mouth open.